9 Reasons kinky sex is the best sex

Regardless of how laughable Fifty Shades of Grey truly is (I mean that ice cream scene in Fifty Shades Freed was hilarious), I have to give E.L. James props because thanks to her kinky sex has become increasingly less taboo. Since the three books were published – which are literally glorified Twilight Fanfiction – like hot wax, people slowly began to warm up to the idea of kink.

About 36% of people have reported that they’ve engaged in some sort of bondage or BDSM-like play in their sexual lives, so it’s not as uncommon as you might think. And it’s actually extremely healthy for you too (if you’re into it, that is). Living out one’s fantasies has an overwhelmingly positive effect on the psyche, so you should not keep your desires a secret from your partner! If you think they might judge you, remember that a good chunk of people are open to kinky sex!

Here are a few reasons why kinky sex is – in my, and a lot of other people’s, opinion – the best sex:

1. Health benefits (mental and physical!)

Learning that engaging in kinky sex has a lot of health benefits usually surprises people. I mean how can spanking be good for your body, right?

Engaging in S&M or some other sort of kink creates a state of consciousness similar to meditation, yoga, and what’s referred to as a “runner’s high”. In the fetish community this state of mind is often referred to as “sub space” and/or “top space” depending on one’s role in the sexual scenario.
This feeling is created through giving and reviving pain as well as power exchange between partners. This feeling decreases cortisol levels which benefit both physical and mental health by decreasing anxiety.

All in all, kinky sex is good for both your body and your mind… but what about your relationship?…

2. Communication!

One of the greatest benefits kinky sex has is the positive affect it has on communication between partners. BDSM could be dangerous due to use of pain-infliction and restraints, so there is an insane amount of trust that has to exist between partners.

Partners are forced to be hyperaware of their sexual desires and limits as well as their partners. In vanilla sex, sexual desires and limits aren’t necessarily discussed at length before sex. That conversation isn’t an expectation in vanilla sex, however it’s common place when engaging in BDSM. Partners often sit down and discuss their likes, dislikes, and hard-limits well before having sex and engaging in kink.

This openness improves communication beyond what is usual for vanilla partners.

3. Strengthens intimacy

When restraints and blindfolds and pain is involved, there has to be trust. It takes a lot of trust to let someone put you in a position where you are both physically and mentally vulnerable. Because of this physical risk, the level of intimacy increases between couples who have kinky sex.

Additionally, practicing BDSM is also thought to encourage fidelity between partners! If one’s needs are being met while maintaining an open and honest line of communication, they’re less likely to cheat.